Wisdom

I'd like some prayer for a decision we need to make this week. Our social worker was reviewing our file and we had said that we were open to a direct placement. That means we would take a baby home right from the hospital, knowing we would be risking having to give her back should her birthmother change her mind. When you go that route, you have to meet the birthmother twice before she delivers. Sometimes the birthmother even invites you to be there when she delivers. In the beginning, this is what I wanted. I want to meet the birthparents and get to talk to them, if I can. I would love to be there when my baby is born and be the first to see her. I would love to be with her from the beginning. Of course, you take a really big risk when you do that. Having already been through a failed placement, I am a little scared to have that happen again. Last time, we had not even met the baby and it was painful to lose her. It would be a lot worse if she had been in our house for 7 days and then we had to give her back. So the social worker wants to know where we stand now on this issue. John said he is still open to it. I would have thought I'd say no, but even though it's scary, I don't know that I want to close that door. I know a day will come when my daughter will have questions about her adoption and her birthmother. I would love to be able to answer some of those questions and tell her that I met her and what she looked like. But I don't want to have to go through another failed placement. It is not unusual to have this happen to you more than once. I just need wisdom and would appreciate your prayers. Thanks!