Starting off our trip with a bang

Well, it's 9:30 and we were going to try to leave at 8am. We're getting a late start to our morning, due to an unexpected visit from EMS and a trip to the ER. Micah has had a cold, but last night he was coughing so much that I was afraid he was not getting enough oxygen. I gave him a nebulizer treatment at 8pm and he stopped coughing after that. At 2am, he started again, so I have him another one. This time, the treatment did nothing for him and his cough worsened. At 2:45am, I called our nurse advice line and she heard his cough in the background. I was advised to call 911 and have him checked out. This scared both of us, but we did it. The EMS workers said his lungs were clear and he looked good, but thought that it was probably due to the nebulizer treatment. They were concerned that he might worsen once the meds wore off, so they advised he go to the ER and be checked out. Because he was stable, they gave us the option of taking him in ourselves or going by ambulance. We decided that I would take him in while John stayed here. His oxygen levels varied a bit and his pulse was high while I was there, causing his monitors to start beeping, but overall they were not too concerned. He had a chest xray to make sure his lungs were clear and then we were discharged. They said he has an upper respiratory infection. I was so exhausted by the time I got home at 5:30am and I had not had any sleep yet. John was up while we were gone. He tried to rest, but you can only rest so much when your wife is gone to the ER (driving in snow and on black ice) with your baby. So we slept a little later than planned and are both tired. We would appreciate your prayers for Micah for healing and for us as we drive to MS over the next two days.

Going out of town again

We will be gone from Tuesday, 12/22, until late next Wednesday, 12/30, for a trip to Mississippi. We will be spending our first Christmas as a family with John's side of the family. We are looking forward to making some wonderful memories and ask that you keep us in your prayers as we travel. Pray also for healing for my boys, who have colds. We don't want to get anyone sick.

I have no adoption news, but my social worker has my cell number and John's parents' number. She is not expecting anything to happen before early next year, but will call if something comes up.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I have no news.

I have no news. Just wanted to update the blog so you didn't think I had forgotten about you all. Of course last time I made a post like this, we got a call the next day. Here's to praying it happens again! :)

Open Adoption

I have had a few questions about open adoption lately. Yes, we are open to an open adoption and we told them that several months ago. Yes, it scares me a little, but I prayed about this and have peace with this decision. It doesn't bother John at all. We are also fine with semi-open and closed adoptions. We didn't tell them we had any preference between the three. Our concern is first for our child and then for the birthparents, not ourselves. If the birthmom does not want any contact, that is fine, we respect her wishes. But if she'd like to hear from us or see her child sometimes, we can certainly understand that. Our agency does require that a yearly update (with photo) be sent in to them. So they have that on file if the birthparents want to see it. We are not wanting to be completely open. We do not want to give out our address or phone number, but we are fine with setting up an email address just for the birthmom to contact us with that wouldn't have our last name on it. We don't want her to come here, but we are fine with meeting up at an outside location, like the agency's office. We understand that this is a gut-wrenching decision for her and she may want to see Hannah sometimes just to know she made the right choice. If at some point, Hannah decides that she isn't comfortable with meetings, we'd stop. I think it might be nice to be able to ask questions, should we need to, especially those of a medical nature. It could also be a venue for ministry to the birthmother. We are just trusting that God in His sovereignty will bring us the child/situation that He wants us to have. And whoever that is and whatever the details are, He has a plan for it all and we want to be a part of it.

Quick Update

This will be short because it's late and I want to go to bed. I just wanted to give everyone a quick update. I prayed and I know several of you did as well, and I felt very strongly that I needed to be open to a direct placement. John was already open to it, so we talked and then I let the social worker know that we would still be willing to do it. It's kind of scary, but I am going to just trust God to do His thing, even if I don't always understand it.

Wisdom

I'd like some prayer for a decision we need to make this week. Our social worker was reviewing our file and we had said that we were open to a direct placement. That means we would take a baby home right from the hospital, knowing we would be risking having to give her back should her birthmother change her mind. When you go that route, you have to meet the birthmother twice before she delivers. Sometimes the birthmother even invites you to be there when she delivers. In the beginning, this is what I wanted. I want to meet the birthparents and get to talk to them, if I can. I would love to be there when my baby is born and be the first to see her. I would love to be with her from the beginning. Of course, you take a really big risk when you do that. Having already been through a failed placement, I am a little scared to have that happen again. Last time, we had not even met the baby and it was painful to lose her. It would be a lot worse if she had been in our house for 7 days and then we had to give her back. So the social worker wants to know where we stand now on this issue. John said he is still open to it. I would have thought I'd say no, but even though it's scary, I don't know that I want to close that door. I know a day will come when my daughter will have questions about her adoption and her birthmother. I would love to be able to answer some of those questions and tell her that I met her and what she looked like. But I don't want to have to go through another failed placement. It is not unusual to have this happen to you more than once. I just need wisdom and would appreciate your prayers. Thanks!