Frequently Asked Questions

I've been getting a few questions about our adoption, so I wanted to take some time to address some of the most popular ones, in case others might be wondering the same things. I'm sorry some of the answers are so long. I don't know how to be short winded; just ask my husband. No, seriously, I felt that to accurately explain somethings, some answers required more detail.

Why is it so expensive?
This is probably the most common question we get. There are a lot of things that go into the high cost of adoption. One thing I want to stress is that you are not paying for the child and the birthmother is not getting any money for her baby. That is illegal and unethical. Another thing I want to stress is that our agency is a 501(c)3 non-profit agency. They are not getting rich off of this. You are covering the expenses the agency incurs to make your adoption happen. In our case, we are going through a private agency. This means that they are not funded by any major church or the government. An agency run by a particular denomination would receive funds from that denomination (ie a Catholic agency is most likely receiving funds from the Catholic churches in their area.) A state run agency receives government funding. This helps them to be able to charge less for their services. Private agencies are responsible to come up with all the money that they need. Each adoption actually costs our agency $35,000. They charge their clients based on their income level and the difference is made up by private donors. There are many legal aspects to an adoption and anyone who has had to work with an attorney and the court system knows that it is not cheap! Everything has to be done properly or the adoption could wind up null and void. The prospective adoptive family has to be thoroughly investigated to make sure the child is going to a safe and loving home. Sometimes the birthfather has to be searched for. Sometimes there might be several potential birthfathers and they all have to be searched for. There is counseling, medical care (childbirth is expensive), and training for the birthparents, as well as training and counseling for the adoptive parents. The social worker also has a salary and the agency has overhead expenses. There are pre and post placement visits to the adoptive family's home. Birthparents do not pay a thing to place their child for adoption. The adoptive parents cover it all. I am ok with that because if birthmoms had to pay their share of the costs, there would be a lot more abortions and we do not want that to happen. This is part of the ministry aspect of adoption.

Why are you going with a private agency?
The short answer is that this is where God is leading us. I checked into several different agencies and was dismayed to discover that we were not eligible to adopt from many of them. Many agencies are not willing to work with people who already have children (or more than two children), because they have so many couples who don't have children yet waiting to adopt. Many agencies are also not allowing their clients to specify the gender of the child they are seeking to adopt. We are specifically seeking a girl and we have three children already, so many places were not an option to us. There was one other agency around here that seemed like it might have worked, but when I called they told me they were not taking new applications at this time because they had so many people waiting already and they did not know when they would start taking them again. When I checked with our state, they were only doing adoptions for special needs children, unless you went through the foster care system. Neither of us feels called to be foster parents. We want to be permanent adoptive parents. So that wasn't an option for us either.

Why are you asking people to help you pay for this?
I know some people don't understand why I am asking for help. As you know, adoption is expensive. We don't have $22,000. The ideal would be to save up a lot of money and then proceed, but that is not what the Lord is leading us to do. He is leading us to adopt now. There is a specific child that he wants to make a part of our family and she is coming soon. I really feel in my spirit that this child has already been conceived and two other people who are praying for us have said they felt the same thing. This puts an urgency in my heart, because her birthmother will only be pregnant for so long. We know that God has a plan and that when he calls you to do something, He will make a way for it to happen. So we are stepping out in faith and asking Him to provide and trusting that He will do so.

I believe that adoption is very special to God. It is symbolic of what of He does for us, as Christians, when we begin a relationship with him. He finds us and takes us into his own family and makes us his own children. We even become his heirs. There are many places where this is referenced in the Bible and we are repeatedly referred to as sons and daughters or children of God. I believe that earthly adoption helps us to better understand our spiritual adoption. For more on this, please read my post entitled, "Adoption as a form of evangelism." There is a great video on that post by John Piper. There is also a great article here: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByDate/2007/1991_Adoption_The_Heart_of_the_Gospel/.

Adoption is so much more than a family getting a baby. As a Christian, I believe that adoption is a ministry. There are women who cannot parent their children, for whatever reason. They are faced with two remaining options- abort the child or place the child for adoption. We are very much pro-life and do not ever want someone to feel like abortion is their only option. In order for them to have another option, there need to be people willing to adopt. There are also children who need a loving family. If every Christian family adopted one child, just think how many less children there would be in foster care and orphanages! These children would also be raised to know about God and prayerfully, would come to accept Him as their Savior too. God calls His people to care for those who are helpless and in need. I believe it is the duty of the church to do so.

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Of course, not everyone is able to adopt a child. There are many ways that you can help care for children in need. You can fund ministries that care for these children, you can do volunteer work, or you can sponsor a child, among other things. Or you can help a family who is willing to take a child into their home be able to do that. If you help us or any family trying to adopt, then you too are caring for that child. You are helping to give that child a loving permanent family and I believe that this makes God happy.

So why am I asking others for help with something we are trying to do? Because God has called us to do it and we need help to make it happen. Because it's not just about us having a daughter; it's much, much bigger than that. Because if you are a Christian, God has also called you to care for children in need and I would like to ask you to pray and see if this is one way God might have you to do that. If it is, we totally appreciate the help. Our child will be raised to know the Lord so you will be making an eternal difference in a child's life. If it isn't, please ask Him where He does want you to help. There are so many in this world who need to know that God loves them and He wants to do it through you!


What is a homestudy?
I addressed this in the last post I wrote, so check there for the answer. It's dated July 30th.

What are the steps in the adoption process?
For our agency they are: info meeting, preliminary application, interview, formal application, two day training seminar, homestudy, profile creation, placement of a child, three post placement visits, and then after 6 months you can finalize the adoption. Creating a profile involves making a book ( like a srapbook) where you try to convey what life is like in your family. These books are shown to the birthmoms and the birthmoms choose the family they want to place their child with based largely on what is in your book.

Where will the baby be from?
We are seeking to adopt from within the United States. I have no idea how everything will play out, so our baby could wind up being from any state.

Is there a specific child you are trying to adopt?
No there isn't a certain child we are seeking. Our agency usually places newborns through their domestic program. Our profile will not be shown until we are approved and we have not completed the homestudy process yet, so we can't be chosen just yet. The birthmoms usually do the choosing, so we wouldn't really be able to seek a specific child. We can only say what we are looking for in a child (ie race, gender, health).

Let the homestudy begin!

It's done! I turned in the paperwork to our social worker this morning. The boys and I had a nice visit in her office and we wound up staying for almost two hours. The next thing we need to do is get fingerprinted and fill out a form to get approved by CPS (child protective services). Then there will be a series of interviews. John and I will have a joint interview, and then we will each have separate interviews. After that, someone will come to our home and make sure that is a safe place and suitable for another child. During this time, they are also running our background checks and reviewing the state of our finances, marriage, and health. They also requested information about our family life growing up. This is all part of what's called a homestudy. A homestudy is a report our social worker will write up stating the things she's learned about us (in all areas) and whether or not she thinks we should be cleared to adopt. This process can take up to 6 months and is required by law in most states.


When they come to our home to do the home inspection, we will need to give them $5,000, so this is our next financial need. The remaining money will be due the day we are placed with a child.

Woohoo!

In two days, the Lord has provided everything that we needed to be able to turn in the paperwork. I have an appt to give it to my social worker tomorrow morning at 9:30. I'm so thankful for God's provision and for the prayers of our friends and family. Thank you, Lord! Thank you also to those who are supporting us financially in this and to those who are supporting us in prayer. It really means a lot to us.

We need your help!

We need to raise another $100 before we can turn in our paperwork to the adoption agency and start on our homestudy. We have completed the extensive paperwork and reading requirements but need that money in order to turn it in. Please pray with us that God provides that within the next few days, so we can move on to the next step.

Adoption as a form of evangelism

I just read this about adoption and I had to post it here. Let me know what you think in the comments section.

“The deepest and strongest foundation of adoption is located not in the act of humans adopting humans, but in God adopting humans,” said Pastor John Piper, in an article titled “Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel” at www.desiringgod.org.
“And this act,” he continued, “is not part of His ordinary providence in the world; it is at the heart of the Gospel. Galatians 4:4-5 is as central a Gospel statement as there is: ‘But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.’”

“There are so many scriptures [Romans 8, Galatians 4, Ephesians 1] that inform our horizontal (human) expression of God’s love through adoption as an outflow of the Gospel,” said Jordan Thomas, pastor-teacher of Grace Church in Memphis, Tennessee (www.gracechurchmemphis.com).
“To make the understatement of the ages, we did not choose to be adopted by God. He chose us. He loved us with an everlasting love in Jesus,” Thomas explained. “And every Christian longs to see others know God’s adopting love.
“Evangelism is a necessary outflow of a true relationship with Christ,” he added. “We feel that adoption is one of the strongest pictures of the love of God and is also one of the most conducive imaginable environments for evangelism (with your own children).


-taken from onenewsnow.com. The full article is available here:http://www.onenewsnow.com/Journal/editorial.aspx?id=256008

Testimony and song video

Thanks to some help from some fabulous friends and my daddy, I now have the video to post here. This is video from the first service, so the line I changed in the second service isn't in it. I am sorry that the testimony is a little hard to hear. It's a video of a video because my church wanted to tape it and show it on the screen. The song part skips in two places, but other than that you can hear it ok. If you can't understand what I'm saying in the testimony, let me know and I will try to get it written out.

Coming soon to a blog near you........

The video from the day I shared the testimony about Micah and then sang will be coming soon, hopefully. I am having technical difficulties getting it uploaded. But I have a friend who is going to take a look at it for me in a few days. So check back next week and prayerfully, it will be here!

Almost there!

We are getting closer and closer to being done with all our paperwork. My goal is to have it done by the end of next week. I know it seems like we should be done by now, but there are so many things going on in our lives right now. In addition to the normal tasks we do each day, the house has needed a lot of work, the children have been children, and we are now launching a new Bible study (we call them life groups) at our church. We are co-leading it with another couple. We all previously attended the same group, but the old leaders have moved away and through a series of God-lead events, the entire group has morphed into a totally different group with a different focus. We will be teaching the Alpha course to our group. We are both really excited about our role in the group and also the people in it and I think God is going to do really good things in the coming weeks and months. Please continue to pray for the adoption process and the funds needed to make that happen. I will update you next week and let you know that we reached our paperwork goal.