Giving thanks

We were blessed to be able to share in song in both services at our church yesterday. We had been asked to sing last month, before the baby excitement happened. We had originally picked a song and one of the pastors just wasn't feeling it for that week and asked if we could pick something that fit with Thanksgiving. So we wound up choosing "Thank You, Lord" by Hillsongs instead. It's a praise and worship chorus, and the entire song is just thanking God for all that's He's done and is going to do. It was definitely much more fitting and I really think God wanted us to be singing that instead of our original choice. When he asked for a song of thanksgiving, neither he nor us knew what was about to happen in our lives. When we got word that our baby had been born we thought it would be wonderful because we were going to sing a song of thanks on Sunday and then pick up our baby on Monday (today). It was perfect! Then we found out that she wasn't going to be our baby after all. And you know what? The song was still perfect. God is worthy of our praise no matter what we go through. He hasn't brought our daugther to us just yet, but He has done so many other wonderful things in our lives and we are thankful for those things. And we are thankful that He will be bringing us a daughter, in His perfect timing. After our sound check yesterday morning, the pastor asked us if he could share with the church what had just happened in our lives and we said he could. He wanted them to know the place we were coming from as we sang this song. I had to really hold it together as he shared or I wouldn't have been able to sing, but I am a firm believer in sharing what God is doing in your life. God uses openness like that to minister to others and I have no idea who was in the congregation that day that really needed to hear it. I pray it ministered to people, especially those who may be going through something difficult right now. He shared and then prayed for both us and the offering, as we were going to sing while they collected that. I was truly blessed by what he shared and by the church joining together to pray for us. I went into this praying for God to minister to those who heard the song and for God to be blessed by our praise, but God surprised me by blessing us as well. He's cool like that.

We're ok

I just want to thank everyone for their encouraging words and prayers. They really mean a lot to us. We are ok. I thank God we hadn't held her yet. Never thought I'd be thankful for the flu, but in this case it saved us from even more emotional heartache. I loved her already. It makes me treasure my boys all the more and I have a new compassion for people who go through this who do not have any babies to snuggle after receiving a call like this. I know that there is a reason for everything that happens. I am glad that a mommy realized she can parent her child. I pray it saves them both from the pain that many adoptees and birthparents go through. I will continue to pray for them, even after we have our own daughter. Maybe God brought her into my life because He wanted me (and some of you) to be praying for them. For now, we have let this go and are moving on. We are working a little more diligently to get everything in order. We are mostly ready, but not completely. I think we'll be all set in a week or so. We need to finish up with Micah's rooms and move him in there (and out of hers). Then we need to find a dresser for her room and put the finishing touches on it.

We are back on the waiting list with our agency. The agency is having a 25th anniversary dinner tomorrow night and we are going to attend that. I am looking forward to it. Free dinner, free sitter, wonderful stories, and encouraging words.... can't go wrong!

Baby went home

Just got word that the baby's mother did come get her today and take her home.

Everything went well for Micah

Micah's surgery went well this morning. It was really fast and we were out of there by 8:40. He was infected in both ears, so he should feel a lot better later today. The fluid in his right ear has become the consistency of glue. The ENT said that means it's been there for awhile and had started dehydrating. I'm thinking that the hearing in that ear had to have been affected. He has a prescription for some antibiotic drops and can have motrin or tylenol as needed. Micah went willingly into surgery, but was not a happy camper when he woke up. He screamed for about an hour and a half and is very clingy, which is understandable. We finally got him to calm down and now he's crying on and off. I am told this is very common as the anesthesia wears off, plus it probably hurts some. The ENT said he'd be fine by the afternoon. Thanks for all the prayers. I am so happy for him that we won't have to deal with all these infections anymore.

All the boys are well now. They've all been fever free for a week (more than that for two of them). They were doing much better last week, but I had read that you are contagious for a week afterwards, so we stayed home anyhow. But now that timeframe has passed as well so we should be good to go.

I have asked my social worker to let me know when the birthmom picks up the baby. My brain just needs to know that for closure. We (the social worker and us) have decided that it might be better for us if she doesn't call us next time until we are three days out from the end of the revocation period. That way, we'll have a little notice, but the chances that a birthmom will change her mind are much slimmer after already being 7 days into it. I'll let you know when I hear from her later.

Micah

In the unexpectedness of yesterday, two things that happened yesterday went unmentioned that I was going to tell people. The first was that we had found out in the morning that the baby was not full African-American as we had originally been told. She is biracial. There had been some miscommunication somewhere. The birthmother is white and the birthfather is black. We had thought that was pretty cool, since our boys are biracial as well. Unless the birthmother changes her mind again, this really doesn't matter anymore, but I wanted to share it anyhow since I had made a comment about her light coloring.

The second is that Micah will be having surgery first thing Monday morning. Many of you are aware of the high number of ear infections my poor baby has had. When he got healed of the breathing problems and the allergies back in June, I had hoped the ears were included in the healing as well. And at first it seemed that perhaps they were. He didn't have an ear infection for six weeks after that, which is the longest he had gone in 8 months. But even though the frequency was reduced (he had been having them every few weeks), he has still been having them. He's had 4 since we went to see the ENT at the end of May, and he has a double ear infection right now, so 6 in 6 months, on top of the many he had already had earlier this year. On Tuesday, I scheduled an ENT appt for Friday (yesterday). I just wanted the first available doc so I could get him in as quickly as possible. The ENT confirmed what we already knew. He needs tubes. We have tried absolutely everything else, including allergy testing, homeopathic remedies, and regular visits to the chiro and nothing is working. They said they could have it done within 2-3 weeks and I told them we were going to be picking up an infant on the 23rd (this is right before I got the call that we weren't going to be picking up a baby anymore). I asked if there was any way we could get it done before we had a newborn and they said they could get us in Monday morning. So we got that all set up and I got him pre-registered at the hospital. Of course, then things changed with the adoption, but I'm just going to leave the appt where it is. I am glad that in only two more days, we won't have to deal with this anymore. The ENT thinks that Micah's speech has been affected by the fluid in his ears and noted that Micah mumbles. I hadn't really noticed; just chalked it up to him being only one, as they are sometimes hard to understand. He has been hearing through fluid, which muffles things. Kids in this situation mumble because they are just repeating what they hear. He said we are going to notice a big difference in his speech in the next few weeks and that he will be less clumsy as well. So please keep him in your prayers for Monday morning that his surgery will go well with no complications and that he will have a speedy recovery. Pray that his brothers will be quieter than normal (they are loud children, despite my efforts to make them quieter). The ENT said things are going to be loud to him as he will be hearing things clearly, perhaps for the first time. I'll update you on him after we're back. I should only be gone a few hours, and the procedure itself should only take 15 minutes.

Friday Update

This is a post I don't want to write, but we need your prayers right now. I received a call a little while ago saying that the birthmother has already changed her mind. She misses her baby too much, which is understandable. I am very sad, of course, but I know that God is still in control of our adoption. Due to legalities, the birthmother will not be able to get her baby back until Monday. That leaves two and a half days for God to make His will clear. Many things lined up with this adoption and it was enough to make me feel confident that this was our baby. The social workers did not expect her to change her mind, but they can never know for certain. I trust the Lord in this situation, but I am not really sure how to pray right now. I just know I need to pray and I need you to pray as well. It doesn't feel right to pray for God to take a child from her mother, if her mother wants to raise her, so I cannot do that. So please just pray for us and pray also that the Lord will do whatever He has in mind to do and that His will be done in this situation. The social worker does not want us to get our hopes up, but since the birthmom can't get the baby back until Monday, she will have time to think over the weekend. Pray for her to have clarity of mind and realistic expectations as she thinks this through. Pray for God to speak clearly to her about what she should do and for her to have the strength to do whatever she needs to do. Parenting this child as a young unmarried woman takes strength too.

Pray for us as well. I am glad that we hadn't told the boys and gone to meet her. This is really hard, but that would have made it harder. Pray for God's comfort and peace. Pray for the Lord's will to be done in our family and that He will bring us the baby He has for us.

I know that as you read this, many of your hearts will break right along with mine, but I want to ask you not to call me right now. I need some time to process this. We will be ok (John is home today). We know that God has a plan for us, for this baby, for the birthmom, and for whatever baby He does have for us, and that He will bring His will to pass. Please just pray and we will do the same.




Lamentations 3:21-26

21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

The boys and more pics

What do the boys think?

We have not told the boys yet. I am not sure that they will understand why we have a new sister, but she doesn't live with us or that she's ours but not really ours yet. They also do not understand how long ten days is, although I guess we could make a countdown chain like we do for Christmas. I will be preparing them even more, but we've already been talking about adoption for awhile now. They are already excited for a sister and have been praying for God to give us one. Luke and Nathanael understand that sometimes a mommy can't take care of her baby and she gives her baby to someone else and then that family makes her their family. They understand that God is going to give us a baby in that manner and that she will be our baby sister. We studied Moses in our homeschool and I explained that Moses was adopted. I explained that his mommy loved him very much and had to make a very hard choice so she could do what was best for her baby. We have a friend who recently had a baby girl, so I've been telling them that when our baby sister comes, she is going to be very small like that baby and she won't be able to sit up or play with us for awhile. They don't remember Micah as an infant. They were too young. We haven't really decided when we will tell them, so we could change our minds and tell them tonight...who knows? If any of my readers have been in this scenario, I'd love some advice.



And just in case you need another Hannah dose......

(Click to see the full sized pic)







The stuffed animal with the little blanket attached is something her birthmother bought for her and wanted her to have.

Hannah Renee

We just received the pictures!!!! When they told us she was full African-American, we were expecting a little brown baby, but it looks like Hannah will be very close to the coloring of her big brothers.

Here is our baby girl!! I don't know why it cut off the side of this pic, but if you click it, you can see the full pic, I think.

Thursday Update

I spoke with the social worker this afternoon. She had just come from dropping Hannah off at the foster mom's house. Everything went well with Hannah's discharge from the hospital. Her birthmom had some family there to support her as she faced the very difficult task of saying goodbye to her baby. She had a few items she wanted Hannah to have and we will receive those when we pick her up. I'm sure they will mean a lot to Hannah one day. Please keep the birthmom in your prayers. This is probably the hardest day of her young life. The social worker said she took a ton of pictures for me and that she'd send some when she had access to a computer. The rest she will burn to a cd for me and give me later. I have not received the pics yet and am trying not to go crazy while I wait. She said I could post them here when I do get them. The birthmom did allow her to take some pics of her and Hannah together. We will not be sharing those pics with anyone, but I am really happy to have them. I know that one day Hannah will probably want to know what her birthmom looks like and I am glad that I will have something to show her.

I will post the pics once I have them, but I am afraid that since it's already after nine, we may be waiting until tomorrow. The social worker is also going to send me the foster mom's number so I can call and get updates on Hannah.

The post you've all been waiting for!!!!!

Our baby girl was born this morning!!!!! We had no idea the birthmom had even seen our profile or anything, so when we got the call this morning it was a surprise to us. She just contacted the agency a few weeks ago. She saw our profile last week and liked us. She gave birth this morning and choose us!! The baby will be going into interim care (like foster care) until the waiting period is over. The waiting period is 10 days in VA, but since that falls on a Saturday, we have to wait until Monday to pick her up. So we will have our little girl on the 23rd, as long as the birthmom does not change her mind. Once the waiting period is over, the birthmom cannot change her mind. Once we pick her up, she is ours forever. She will be 12 days old and she will be with us in time for Thanksgiving!!!!!

Her name will be Hannah Renee. The Lord told us to name her Hannah and the birth mom asked that Renee be incorporated into her name somehow because that name has special significance for her. Here are her stats:

born today 11/11 at 7:16am
5lbs 14 oz 18 inches long
She is perfectly healthy as far as they are aware.
She is fully African-American and she is in Virginia.

I want to go meet her so badly, but 4 out of 5 in my house have the flu right now. I am the only well one. John and I would like to go meet her together and he just came down with the symptoms so it will be several days before he is better. So we will probably not get to see her until we pick her up. I did ask them to explain this to the birthmom because I don't want her to think we are not excited. The social worker is going to take some pictures for me tomorrow when Hannah is discharged and send them to me. So I will have those up for you as soon as I can.

Birthmom knows this is what she wants to do and birthfather is on board, so the social worker does not expect her to change her mind. Birthmom is young and lives with her parents and they are also supportive of her decision.

We are down to needing $2,500. The money will be due the day the baby is placed with us (12 days), so please pray that the Lord brings in the last part of the money we need. If you have been thinking about supporting us, we could really use your help now!

I've been giddy with excitement all day! God's timing is just amazing. I prayed about 2 weeks ago and asked the Lord to spare us from the flu, but then I told him that if it wasn't His will to do that, could he please just let us get it and get it over with before we had a newborn in the house. One week and a few days later, 4 out of 5 members of my house had the flu. As I cared for my sick children, I questioned whether or not I should have prayed that prayer. And then I got that call today and it all made sense. I said, "Lord, you knew!" He honored my request and we will all be over that and have our immunity for the season before Hannah comes home.

The Lord is good and we truly have much to praise Him for this year!